Jinxing your pregnancy, superstitions…… and why it’s all bullsh*t.

When you’re finally pregnant after infertility and/or loss, there can be elation……and then intense fear. And for a lot of us, we stay stuck in the fear for the entire length of our pregnancy, unable to move and enjoy the moments we’ve fought so hard for.

But you don’t have to.  Are you ready to move the anxiety and fear to the side and stop living inside it?  Would you like to reduce your pregnancy anxiety?

For a lot of us, our mind is actually holding us back from what we really need. Let me explain…..

I was having a conversation with a girlfriend the other day about how much I was loving where we were living at the moment, and how I hoped we’d be able to stay here.  I ended our chat with the words “touch wood”.  This wasn’t just an isolated incident – in fact, I say it all the time. So, when I started writing this blog about jinxing things and superstitions, it became apparent that this belief or habit has been ingrained in me from childhood.

How many times do you catch yourself talking about how well your job, your relationship, or putting an offer on a house is going, only to stop yourself because you don’t want to “Jinx it”. 

So, what is Jinxing all about, and is it real?

Firstly, jinxing means to bring bad luck to; or cast an evil spell on. Wow. Scary stuff, right? I believe in a little woo woo, however this all sounds a little voo doo to me. 

But this is our reality when we’ve been trying to conceive for a long time, have gone through IVF, suffered a miscarriage or endured multiple pregnancy losses.  

In my personal experience, the longer we’re on this journey, the more superstitious we become.  We wish on shooting stars, birthday candles, and dandelions. You name it, we’ll try it! There is even a thing amongst the IVF community when going for a frozen embryo transfer (FET) – you wear your lucky socks and eat McDonalds fries on the way home. 

It’s the same reason why basketball players have rituals or wear lucky jocks. But in reality, it’s not about the jocks (unless of course they’re aerodynamic or make them move better), it’s about their self-belief. Usually, it’s more helpful to have something physical to believe in rather than themselves.

Anyway, lucky jocks and socks aside, the truth is…..there is NO scientific evidence of jinx's being real. Let me say that again – IT’S NOT REAL!

But because we believe it COULD be real, we’re sending out mixed messages and getting super confused in the process.

We’re scared to say the good things out loud for fear of jinxing it. So, we don’t tell anyone we’re pregnant, we don’t purchase any baby clothes, we don’t dream of what it would be like to hold our baby. Because we don’t want to jinx it.

And on the other side, we don’t say the bad things out loud, because it goes against the principle of manifesting and the law of attraction. We attract what we put out there and what we think about, right? You remember that book from the early 2000’s, The Secret? Where your thoughts can change the course of your life? 

And because of this, we don’t say out loud how scared we are, or tell people how much pain we’re in, because we don’t want to attract more of it. Plus we don’t want to complain, because other’s would kill to be in our position and we don’t want to feel ungrateful.

We’re not game to move one way or the other. You want to exist in that moment, without acknowledging it. And whether you call it a jinx or not, you know that you shouldn’t overthink it. There’s something in you that is telling you not to become overly aware of how important your situation is, because the more hyper-aware you become, the more likely you are to mess it up. Because that may have happened last time. Or because you’re so used to bad things happening.

Are you wondering why you’re sooooo exhausted and overwhelmed right now??!!

Pregnancy after infertility and/or loss is complicated and confusing.

THIS is why we stay stuck in our fear and pain……alone.

Because we’re stuck between JINXING IT and MANIFESTING.  We can’t voice our happiness and excitement for fear of jinxing it.  And we can’t voice our fears or concerns because we’re scared of manifesting more pain and suffering. So, we essentially put our heads in the sand, close our eyes tight, and white knuckle it inside our little bubble.

Let’s bust a few of these myths, so you’re not caged inside your fear, unable to move.

Fear is completely natural after you’ve been on the wrong side of the statistic. When you’re 1 in 4 and have experienced a loss, or 1 in 8 and have suffered from infertility, being scared is natural.

However, our reaction to fear is the problem, and it’s holding us back from what we REALLY need. Yes, you’re actually self-sabotaging yourself and making this harder than it already is.

I know you want to believe in something. A higher power. A reason WHY??!! That this is all part of a major plan and that we’re being guided. And I truly believe that we are too. 

But that doesn’t mean we need to push it all down and sit in denial. Acknowledging that you are pregnant and that you are scared, will not take it away. In fact, acknowledging it will actually help you.

No, I’m not saying that you have to announce your pregnancy on social media, or even tell your family. Find a community where you can make the transition from “trying to get pregnant” to “I am pregnant”.

Because when we’re all alone, we search for certainty. So, we open up our google search engine and randomly type in “pregnancy symptoms” and go into that vortex. We try to get relief from complete strangers’ stories, and instead feel even worse. Because the more we try to get certainty, the less certain we feel. 

The TWO things that can save you from yourself right now are HONESTY and COMMUNITY. 

Firstly, it is important to be honest with ourselves. When we speak about how scary this is, it allows us to step outside the fear and see it as something separate from ourselves. It allows us to process it. See it. And acknowledge it. Because if we don’t, it sits there, stagnant and attracts more of it. It goes deeper and spreads wider. But it’s hard to acknowledge the fear by yourself. Which is where the community comes in. 

It is important to be around those who can support you, and who are able to say………ME TOO!  This journey is isolating and lonely, and when we feel stuck, we go deeper inside ourselves. We shut the doors and internalize. But when we have people around us who are travelling on the same path, with similar fears, we’re able to share a little more freely and openly. 

And this is why I created Your Pregnancy Haven - where you can feel Calm, Empowered and Connected throughout your pregnancy.

If you’re resisting joining a community like this because you’re worried about jinxing it, you can stop right now. There is no such thing as jinxes – it’s merely your monkey mind trying to protect you. But instead of protecting you, it’s actually harming you. THIS superstition is keeping you stuck inside your fear.

If you’re resisting getting the support because you’re scared to acknowledge the fear, you can stop that too. Admitting what you’re scared of won’t make it a reality, but it WILL make you feel a little less afraid. Because when we bring these fears into the light, they don’t seem so scary.

AND you’ll feel a little more positive and hopeful. Because it’s easier to keep yourself present, to keep yourself immersed in the hopeful possibilities when you’re surrounded by those in a similar position. And every time that skeptic of reality whispers to you about the worst-case scenario you’ve been repeating over and over in your head, you have somewhere to go. There will be someone there to bring you back out of your own self-sabotaging beliefs. To give you hope. And peace. 

So if you’ve just gotten that positive pregnancy test and are starting to get into that cage of fear……STOP! 

Instead, jump inside Your Pregnancy Haven. Don’t wait. NOW is the time.

The first 12 weeks are the hardest. And for a lot of us, the whole pregnancy is hard. You deserve some relief and enjoyment in your pregnancy.

And if something does go wrong, you’re in the right place to receive the support, love and encouragement you need. 

If you’d like to join our beautiful community filled with information, tips, encouragement and love OR if you’d like more information, head HERE.

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